By Guest Author
Elderly parents who begin to demonstrate erratic driving habits are becoming a problem for an ever-increasing segment of the population. Our senior citizens are living longer than ever before, and while we enjoy having them with us as they age, they can present serious problems when the subject of driving comes up.
Driving Is the Last Bastion of Independence for the Elderly
If they can drive, in their minds it means that they can get behind the wheel and are free to do anything and go anywhere they like. They don’t have to depend on their children and grandchildren to get them to doctor appointments, the drug store, church or to any other destination. While they may not have much body strength or are limited by a lack of mobility, once behind the wheel of a car, they feel empowered to be independent. In many cases, however, their aging eyes cannot see clearly, their reflexes are slow, their hearing is off, and they may be subject to fainting spells behind the wheel.
When and How Should We Begin Discussing Driving Issues With Our Elderly Parents?
We cannot order our parents to stop driving. How can we do it in a manner that does not belittle them or hurt their feelings? Some people are lucky. They have reasonable and forward thinking parents who recognize their shortcomings and stop driving on their own. With others, it takes calm discussion and a presentation of the facts and specific incidents that bring the problem into the open. Try to get them to take an honest look at themselves, and the way they drive. Remember however would feel if someone tried to tell you that you shouldn’t drive anymore.
Here Are Some Approaches That Could Work For You
· Dad, remember yesterday when you backed out of the drive and forgot to look both ways? You were very lucky the car coming down the street was able to stop in time.
· Mom, I can’t help but notice how you have been driving lately. I’m not quite convinced you should be driving at all; but if you take a test at the DMV and pass, I will stop nagging you.
· Mom, the entire family is on pins and needles every time you get behind the wheel; for our benefit, as well as your well-being, will you please reconsider your driving?
· Dad, we promise that we are available if you ever need a ride anywhere, someone will give you a lift without a complaint.
· Hey, Mom and Dad, will you just look at these statistics about elderly drivers? Perhaps you can see why we worry about you behind the wheel.
· Mom, how about taking a defensive driving class at the DMV? Farmers Car Insurance will give you a discount if you pass, and we’ll all feel a lot better about your driving.
· Grandpa, I am a very responsible kid. Now that I have my license, I promise to drive you anywhere you like. Maybe we can hang out a bit. Can I use your car? I’ll even make payments to you.
· Mom, AARP has some wonderful seminars on senior driving issues. It’s for anyone over 55. You might get a chance to see how other folks your age are handling the situation.
· Dad, I’m afraid to drive with you and so are your grandkids. You are very erratic, and you don’t even know you are driving dangerously.
· Mom, I know we live a long way from you. That’s why we worry so much. If we can arrange with a social worker or a neighbor to help you shop and take you to your appointments, will you consider getting rid of your car? We can check on the senior bus program. They pick you up right at your front door. Better yet, why don’t you come live with us.
· Mom, I know you don’t want to live with us, but The Independent Living facility down the road might be perfect for you. All your needs are taken care of, and the center provides transportation to shopping, church, and whatever you might need. You won’t need your car.
Somehow, if you are calm and reasonable, you will come to some agreement. One of the above lead-ins can help start the conversation.
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