Having an illness in the family is an emotionally trying situation that places a strain on every member of the family. When the sick family member is a child, there are special considerations that must be taken into account, especially when siblings who are well seek to understand. There is no handbook outlining the perfect handling of this sort of situation, and parents are often left in the dark by medical providers who are primarily concerned with which medication or test to administer, and when. Fortunately, guiding siblings in the process of learning to live with the illness of one of their own is a healthy and productive way to foster unity and compassion amongst your little ones. Use the following suggestions to help a healthy child understand a sibling’s illness.
Circumstantial factors. Take into account your children’s ages and maturity levels and be sure not to give them more information than they can understand and/or handle emotionally.
Explanation. Do not patronize either your sick or healthy children with oversimplified or idealized versions of the illness. They will be able to sense that you are downplaying the illness, which they can clearly see the implications of, in order to protect their sensibilities. This could ultimately promote mistrust and unnecessary anxiety. Be honest and speak plainly about the condition, using scientific terms that are on your children’s level, and when they ask for clarification, provide clear explanations. Above all, treat the issue with dignity and respect, rather than fear and pity. Remember how important a positive and accepting attitude is, and your children will pick up on your mindset and follow your cue.
Communication. It is important that you are honest and open, so as to entitle your children to feel comfortable expressing themselves with you and with each other. Encourage the healthy children to ask their sibling about the illness and, as well, encourage the sick child to speak up for what he or she is and is not comfortable talking about.
Involvement. Remember that when one family member is sick, it affects every family member. A close family works together as a team, for the benefit of all. Involve your healthy children with caring for their ill sibling. Be careful not to burden them with responsibilities that should be on adult shoulders, but do encourage them to step in and participate with things such as physical therapy, meal service, and grooming. Don’t treat it as a chore or an obligation, but rather as an opportunity to learn and grow together. Your healthy children can be your ill child’s best friends and best asset, and vice versa.
It is never easy to watch your child suffer with an illness. In fact, at times it can feel devastating. Just remember that there is a lot of good that can come of such adversity, and that taking the right steps toward helping all of your children cope can bring your family together in a beautiful way.
About the Author: Holly Lane is a full-time writer with a passion for health, wellness, careers, billing and coding, and fitness.
