I believe that financial wealth does not “create” deadbeats.
Just like money does not “create” evil in men. Money merely draws out the most predominant tendencies in a person that is not managed and controlled through personal development and growth.
You can simply look at your own family as an example, and I can look at my own, too. You and your siblings can grow up in somewhat similar circumstances, born to the same set of parents. Unless you – like me – have ever left home in an act of rebellion, you were exposed to the same parental messages your siblings did.
Yet you can probably tell me just how different you and your siblings turned out. From your worldview to your views about wealth and family.
Here’s something to think about: deadbeats come from rich and poor families alike. How they manifest their deadbeat behaviors is proportional to what they have to squander. If you have a penchant for philanthropy, you can be born into a wealthy aristocratic class, and I guarantee that you’ll end up in the pages of Time magazine for your philanthropic work, just as you will have that tendency even if you were born into any other social class.
However, I will say this: parents do have influence over their children’s behaviors, not by the financial wealth they are leaving them or granting them, but by using money as a replacement or tool or manipulation, or by supporting their unproductive decisions like allowing them to live at home when living at home was due to lack of motivation or fear to become self-reliant.
One of the key points in James E. Hughes’ book Family Wealth is that this has to be a freely made decision – family members are not obligated by any way to be part of the family constitution or governance – they are free to walk away from it. But even then, family governance is about producing good human beings who are worthy stewards of wealth and contributors to society – not a series of trust fund babies who get lazy because of the free ride (and again, we have plenty of those in poor families – freeloaders come in all classes).
It is exactly because the families don’t focus on nurturing the intellectual assets of its human capital that it loses its financial wealth. It’s like a company that can survive only if it keeps investing in R&D instead of only looking at ways to make money from selling and marketing. If you don’t have a good pipeline, your best sales force won’t have much to sell very soon.
While parents who uses money to substitute for love/attention are indeed conditioning pathological behaviors in their family around money and some human beings are born naturally inclined for laziness, let me tell you why I don’t believe that substantial (hundreds of millions of dollars of) financial wealth creates lazy human beings. My husband knows a very wealthy “trust fund baby” who is around our age. Let’s just say his family wealth comes from a product that is found in virtually every household and restaurant in America (if not the world). You probably has one of this family’s product in your kitchen/fridge.
For all intents and purposes, this man does not need to ever work a single day in his life. But he runs his own company and he is involved in all sorts of different things, he’s always very busy and on the go. In fact, this individual is extremely generous and giving to his friends. Not just that, I’ve never heard he or any of his brothers in the news for some celebrity-children-type antics. That’s because they’re “regular” people who happen to never ever have to worry about money. They also use their part of the inheritance to found companies and organizations they want to run and are interested in.
Money, like power, requires the highest degree of self awareness humans are capable of. Only when we work relentlessly to grow ourselves can we become responsible stewards of money. Only when we cultivate the human and intellectual capital of our family members can we hope to create and sustain lasting family wealth.
